I have days when I am certain there aren't enough hours to accomplish everything that I want to do. I push and push in order to get done what I can so that I can start all over the next day, so that I end up working 13 -14 hours each day in an office setting. On Saturday, I continue to work for another 5 hours in the office. This is a lot of office time! When I'm home, I'm studying, continuing with my learning, working my own spiritual path, or household duties.
I'm not complaining, mind you, I love what I'm doing. When I'm doing my work, it's like everything in the world makes perfect sense. Helping others to help themselves, to heal their wounds and move forward; to discover who they are, or who they want to be; to help remove the negative and replace with the positive.
I'm just like everyone else though. Caught up in day to day activities, working a full time job, taking care of my household, spending time with my grandchildren and children, and any outside activities that I am involved in.
I just wonder where all the time goes, are the days actually becoming shorter and shorter, or am I just so caught up in what I'm doing, that time just disappears without me being aware of where I am, or what is going on around me?
Life isn't just supposed to be about work, or play, or love, friendship, family, solitude. Not individually anyway. It's about balancing all of these things in our day to day activities. Giving completely and totally to what you are doing at the time, before moving to the next event. This goes back to giving 100% of yourself in everything or to everyone, including yourself.
I'm finding that there are things I want to do, but I also hear that voice in my head, "I don't have time today to do this, so I'll wait until tomorrow."
Which all ties into something else that I've been thinking about for the last week. Becoming so busy that you wait to do something, to say something, often leads to guilt, heartbreak, anger, confusion. More often with yourself, rather than with another person.
How often do you not say "I love you" to your children, spouse, parents, partner, or any loved one, believing that you will see them later on that day, or tomorrow? You're in a rush to get to a meeting, or to catch the bus, whatever the reason. It only takes a second to add those three words.
When my husband was ill I got in the habit of telling him I loved him several times during the day. I often worried that he'd pass on not knowing how I felt. Now, I continue this practice whenever I speak to my children on the phone or in person, I always end with "I love you." I try to do this with my sisters, and my other loved ones. I want them to know how much I do love and care for them. I never want there to be any doubt of my feelings for them.
If I continue to say "one of these days I'll...." perhaps I'll never get those things done. This is part of giving to yourself, showing yourself that you are worthy of having these things. There is an abundance for you and everyone else in this world. Isn't your partner, your children, your loved ones worthy of having you do those things with them or hearing those little words? Isn't this one way of showing them, letting them know what they mean to you?
Time disappears and we don't know where it went. As I was reminded just last week, our loved ones leave this world and we start to think "If only I'd..." We can't change things anymore for those who've left us, but we can start today to change things for those who are still amongst us.
If you haven't hugged those people you love and care about most in the world or said those three magical words today, take a couple of minutes from your busy schedule and do so.
Time isn't standing still.
