My husband passed away last November. Usually that time of year is chilly or cold, but this year it seemed unseasonably warm. Phil died late Saturday night. With a numb mind I made funeral arrangements on Sunday. On Monday, the minister came to the house to help us plan the service. Never having met my husband, he asked our children and me to tell him about their dad, my husband. We laughed and cried over the memories we relayed.
One such story told of Phil's love of joking and playing pranks on people. Knowing the women he worked with feared mice and snakes, he would plant plastic critters in their desk drawer.
He always knew when I discovered a snake in our garden by my dancing around and letting out a hoot. HE thought it was funny. I was trying to get my heart to stop pounding.
After the minister left, I had to do something, anything to keep myself going, so I headed to the kitchen to wipe up the dishes. My daughter-in-law gasped and asked me to look at the stove.
Upon further inspection, I noticed a snake's head barely peeking up over a lid resting on a pile of dishes.
I automatically assumed one of my adult children was playing a prank. I demanded to know which hooligan put a plastic snake on the dirty dishes. It wasn't funny.
"Like we walk around with rubber snakes in our pockets," they stated. "Besides, we were all in the living room with you."
I had to admit they were right on both counts. None of them had left the room. I suspected one of them had discovered Phil's plastic snake. There was only one problem - this snake was alive. Which started a whole new line of questioning. Who went out and brought a snake into the house? Where did they find a snake at this time of year? I hate snakes.
And my husband knew it. My children didn't know I would tell the story of snakes earlier. How could they? I didn't know. what I do know is my husband knew I would see the snake and react. This was a sign from him to me, "Here, I am. Lighten up. I'm okay now. I'm where I'm supposed to be."
My daughter-in-law returned the tiny, ten-inch garter snake to the yard. Two weeks later, another snake appeared in the driveway. This one was a whole lot bigger. A sign I couldn't ignore.
Since then, I've been searching my spiritual path, doing innerwork to help ease my grief so that I can move forward with my life. I've been told time and again to ask for help. Being extremely independent, this is a difficult chore for me.
A few nights later ago I had a dream. After spending time interpreting my dream, I understood I needed to go to my "sisterhood" for help. They are there to help me learn and grow. Tucking that knowledge back into the recesses of my mind, I went on with my day, letting the dream receded into my mind.
Later, sitting at a stoplight, I glanced over at a house surrounded by a wooden privacy fence. Sitting on that fence were two of the largest ravens I've ever seen in my life. The sun glinted off their blue-black wings mesmerizing me. I didn't fail to notice the third raven sitting in the bush next to them, eating its fill of berries.
I couldn't let go of that vision. It meant something to me. It caught my attention and wouldn't let go. Once again my thoughts returned to my "sisters", those who would stand by me and watch over me while I continue to feast on my learning and grow.
Signs appear everywhere around us. We just need to slow down, open ourselves up to a higher power and pay attention. Our souls are talking to us, helping to lead the way.
Listen to that voice in your head that talks to you. Watch the world around you. Nature is calling to you. Pay close attention to your dreams. You'll be surprised what you might learn, just as I was.
Shortly after my dream telling to ask my "sisters" for help, I had another dream. I was walking through a walkway with one of my biological sisters and we bumped into a spider's nest. I was bitten on my big toe, which immediately swelled and turned black.
I could take this dream literally and stop walking around barefoot, especially at night, outdoors. Or I could take it to mean that I haven't been paying attention to what I'm being told. The spider bit me to get my attention. Boy, did it ever. Spiders rank right up there with snakes and mice.
I took the time to break down my dreams, to listen to what I was being told. I need help. There's nothing wrong with asking for it. The "sisterhood" I need to go to understands, ready and willing to catch me when I fall and put me back on my feet again.
Listen. Visualize. Trust. More importantly BELIEVE.
I wrote that article two and a half years ago. The last three years have been filled with amazing things that have happened to me. I still have moments of grief, an ache that doesn't want to seem to ever go away. Yet I've had many dreams of my husband. He seems happy and content where he's at, waiting for me to rejoin him once my time comes.
I've also had many dreams of snakes. They seem to be a constant in my life, consciously and subconsciously. They are the messenger that draws me to the fact that there is something important that I need to pay attention to.
I love nature. Usually when it's this hot, I don't venture outside too much. I prefer the beautiful 70 and 80 degree weather that we had last summer. But when I am outside, or looking through the window, I observe and study what is going on around me. There are signs everywhere that we are able to see that give us messages of hope, joy, and happiness.
The other morning I watched the sunrise. The painter's brush the Universe uses leaves wisps of peach, pink, a soft orange and violet across the sky. The huge gold sphere of sun is split in two by the spire of a church. Rays of brilliance spread from the golden sphere to illuminate the world.
A glorious morning with the sunrise. So soft and subtle it symbolized a mild, peaceful day to me.
The sun being split in two reminded me of something, but I can't quite put my finger upon it. It's almost as if I've seen a twin sun somewhere - possibly in another life.
Is this a sign of things to come? Changes in our world? Positive changes is what I am getting from the twin suns.
I love the sunrise. It symbolizes hope for a new day, the beginning of a new life. Everyday is the start of something new. New lives, new habits, it's fresh, a chance to leave behind whatever is bothering me, so that I may begin again with clear vibrations along my path.
I pray that you see the symbols that surround you. Symbols that mean something to only you. Symbols of hope, joy, happiness. Symbols that help you get through each and every day feeling blessed and loved.
Namaste
Sue
