Life comes at us in mysterious ways. Ways that we don't expect them to happen. sometimes they are tremendous blows of grief and pain. and you are left asking why. Most times those answers aren't available for us to see. It takes time for the emotions to clear so that we are able to "see" the overall picture.
I received a phone call a few days ago from a loved one. Grief and pain ripped through her voice when she told me the child she'd given up for adoption twenty-seven years ago had died during the night.
Sitting with her later on the question arose, "Did I do the right thing by giving her up?"
Putting your child up for adoption has to be one of the most difficult decisions a mother can make. Knowing you are unable to financially, physically or emotionally take care of the smallest of innocent creatures is a devastating blow to your soul. Being gracious enough to allow someone else to love, nurture and raise your child is an incredible gift.
This woman gave her baby girl to a couple through an open adoption. The child grew up knowing this woman as a family friend and later knew that she was her biological mother. Even as a teenager the child came to live with her bio mom for a short time.
This little girl was blessed with two mothers who loved her. They were all blessed with the gift of life and the giving of life.
Now these two mothers wil lean on each other for comfort, each giving, each taking what is needed to help themselves get through this difficult time.
This young woman was also a mother. Two young children are left behind. Thankfully there are two grandmothers to help.
After growing ill last fall, this young woman had surgery to correct the problem. Unfortuanately, the problem grew worse instead of better, and she left this earth to move gracefully through the heavens.
I know this is small comfort to the mothers, children, and other family left behind, but sometimes it's all we can offer. Words alone cannot express our sorrow for the loss of a life no matter the age. It's particulary hard when it's a young person.
This young lady brought life, love, laughter, joy, and I'm sure, a variety of exasperation, as any child will do, into the lives of two separate women. The woman who carried her for nine months and the woman who nurtured and raised her.
She also carried on that same love with the birth of her own children. As these women try to comfort their grandchildren, they too, may find comfort in the small smiles, or actions that bring back the memories of days past.
Is there a lesson in all of this? A bigger picture to see? I can't see all of it yet, but as time begins to heal the pain, the grief, perhaps I will be allowed to watch more of the "story" unfold. As of now, I can only see the beginning and the middle of the story. The rest is up to these women as they sift through their memories, their emotions, and their grief. Only then will the rest unfold.
